The ‘Drama’

Since this is still apparently ongoing, I’m going to address it here rather than in a bunch of tweets.

I’ve got a problem with gun violence. And I have a problem with how patterns repeat themselves. I think I was about four the first time I saw someone shot. I was nineteen when the school shooting at Columbine occurred, and saw how it made the high school experience of myself differ from that of my sisters.

Cops have brandished firearms at me. I’ve been shot at. I’ve cleaned up the aftermath of a shooting. I’ve been to the funerals of both murders and suicides, including that of my sister of choice.

The same thing happens every time. Some folks start to talk about gun violence, and then immediately everyone tries to change the conversation. The right wing tries to change it to ‘mental illness’, and ‘hardening’, and ‘increase police funding’. The left tries to change it to who is allowed to talk about improving gun safety, and where, and how. They put all their effort into diverting the conversation every time a mass shooting hits mainstream media and sure enough, each time, we instead are putting all our energy into trying to talk about those topics instead of actually doing something about gun violence.

I saw it happening again. A couple people I liked did it. A lot of people I disliked did it. A whole shit ton of people I didn’t know did it. It happened on Twitter, in real life, on Facebook, gaming servers, Discord, everywhere.

So I made a few tweets venting my frustration about how much damage gun violence has done to my life and how much trauma it has caused and how I’m tired of seeing this pattern time after time after time. I did this during a rough time in my life, with the dates of the anniversary of the suicides of my sister of choice and my sister by blood within a couple days of each other. I did this half an hour after, when trying to talk about gun violence in real life, someone told me I was just being performative because apparently as a white lady I’m in no danger from firearms or something.

And you’ll probably guess what happened next. Yeah. That pattern again. Someone, to whom the post was not addressed to and was not mentioned in the post, someone to whom I’d actually already reached out and said what I wanted to say to them directly to them, saw the tweets. The tweets that were not addressed to them or about them. They decided that not only was the post solely about them, but the statement of ‘if you care more about how we talk about gun violence than you do kids being massacred, go fuck yourself with a rusty dildo’ was actually me directly threatening to rape them.

If that wasn’t ridiculous enough, a bunch of people, many of whom should have known better, not only believed that, but decided it was time to start using ableist slurs like ‘unhinged lunatic’, ‘rabid bitch’, etc… against me and threaten to dox me. They’ve been sending DMs suggesting I’m an unfit parent, a danger to my son, and they should call CPS and my workplace. Lots of folks I’d considered myself friendly with blocked me.

Once again, instead of actually talking about gun violence, we were talking about something else. How dare I speak out against gun violence in that manner. How dare I hurt the feelings of someone my words weren’t directed at and now instead of having a conversation we have to all go run and soothe the poor little wounded gazelle and don’t I feel all bad now?

Well. No. I don’t.

I feel like my point got proved, and hard. I feel like a bunch of people saw the opportunity to make nice with someone they felt was part of the ‘cool clique’ and saw attacking me as a way to get in good. And really, I hope they pick you. At this point, I think they deserve you.

Apologies? I’m not going to offer any. But I certainly am starting to think I’m owed a few.